I have been keeping a secret. And am ready to come clean. I have decided to open another business! (leaving Lyn out on this one, really she doesn't want any part of it!)
Feeling like you need a little exercise workout in your life? Well do I have the new workout for you. (still working on the perfect name) This is what it will look like.
First up early to get the blood pumping ~~say 5:30 (grabbing a quick cup of coffee is optional depending on how ambitious you were getting out of bed)
We start our routine with the
GATED PIPE BEND (let me take a minute to thank my first clients)
form is a must ~~ start with the straight stand
bend ~ bend~
all the way down to the pipe
lean clear over and open the gate, push yourself up to standing position and then move 1 to 2 feet and do it again! (fifty times on this field alone and that's just turning on....another fifty on this field just turning off)
This routine is great for your arm and leg muscles!!!
We also like to encourage in this routine that you carry a bit of extra weight ~~ just to build those muscles
this weight tends to stay with you the entire workout ~ plus a little added bonus of pulling your foot out of the mud which also helps those leg muscles.
You can also purchase the "extra weight" routine where you get to haul straw bales and then put the straw on the rows that are washing over
this routine also is good for upper body strength as you have to shovel wet mud on top of the straw to hold the straw in place.
We also always encourage you to carry your shovel as additional weight. (added weight with wet sticky mud usually occurs)
Our next station is the
IRRIGATING TUBE PUMP
This particular portion of the workout requires several steps.
First there is the " pull the dam".
this requires some great upper body strength as your having to pull the dam with lots of the force of water and dirt that has been piled on to hold the dam. Plus the weight of anything that has silted into the dam.
Next it's the carry the tubes ~ also great for upper body workouts
this task is best done with a partner.
of course this routine brings SMILES IF YOUR "NEW" to the IRRIGATING ROUTINE. The "TOSS THE PIPE" into place is also a good stretching technique.
You next do the "JUMP the DITCH" which is generally full of water so it is extra incentive to jump good as you do not want to land in the middle ~~ there is also some technique involved ~~ one must not land on TOP of the ditch as you may compromise the ditch and cause a wash out....SOMETHING you NEWBIES will be reminded of often.
As we proceed to the full work out, you once again take proper stance. This is a bit different than the "PIPE WORK OUT" you have to have this stance
then bend at the waist
the lower you can get to the ground without bending your knees the more successful the actual end result
then you do the up and down pumping motion ~ that trust me gets those leg muscles working.
You continue this several times and several fields as with the "PIPE WORKOUT"
I will allow an occasional break while you wait for the water to fill in the pipe (where you can even play with Rosie) (she always comes along for the workouts)
during this time we tend to CRANK the radio up so you can listen to the KRAFT'S FAVORITE NEW SONG!
The "SHOVEL IT" routine involves making ditches for the water when the ground looks like this
We can also provide you with the GET YOUR HEART PUMPIN ROUTINE
this particular work out provides little incidences that can get your heart rate up. Included may be the above...crawly things like pulling craw daddies with wiggly legs out of the gated pipe. Occasional fish, both dead and alive being pulled out of the gates and if you want we can arrange for you to help the COUSIN KRAFT'S where they recently had to pull a muskrat from that tiny little hole.....hey this beats the "old laying pipe out" routines that can have skunks involved!!!!
This full body workout session will require 2 to 3 hours of your time....usually more when you are getting started.
You will also be able to purchase the full day package where you go every hour and check to make sure the rows don't wash across. (this routine is more of the shovel, straw section) this session can also include the weed the garden, and work with the 4H calves.
Your workout will start over again at 4:30 ~ 5:00.
This particular section brings on lots of sweat since it is usually the hottest time of the day.
MY NEW WORKOUT ROUTINE does come with a couple of benefits.
You won't have much of an appetite, by the time you get done 8:30 or so your pretty tired to eat.
You can use my VERY OWN HAND SPA TREATMENT
this includes lots of mud cures on your hand that may tend to dry them out a bit so you will need my very own special handmade remedy
The fee will also include all use of equipment
we will provide all the above stuff, plus any boots that may be required
I really see this as a great "MONEY MAKING VENTURE"
I PROMISE BY THE TIME YOU GET DONE WITH THE DAY ~~ EVERY MUSCLE YOU HAVE WILL HURT !!! (plus a few you forgot you had)
And when you need a "LITTLE INCENTIVE TO GET UP AND DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY" well just think of the word
"LIVELYHOOD!!!!"
That should get you UP AND OUT OF BED!!!
I would also be sure to encourage you to "NOT PRACTICE THIS ROUTINE IF YOU RECENTLY HELD A NUT FRY PARTY OVER THE WEEKEND" (it may tend to make the work out NOT SO FUN)
I really do see this as a great "MONEY MAKING VENTURE" with a LOT of potential! I mean think of the money people pay just to go to some DUDE RANCH and pretend to play cowboy. My routine actually comes with a great benefit.
All I need is one or two movie stars to buy in on my new endevour....from there I am sure to make
MILLIONS!!!! ~
wish me LUCK~~~~
Comments